Phir Dekhiye - Song from Rock On!!- Carolina Monteiro

We have come a long way. And yet in some ways, we’re where it all started. We want to fly, we want to climb mountains, we want to dance, we want to sing, we want to head corporations, we want to get Olympic medals, we want to be mothers, we want to cook, we want to report from troubled areas, we want to party at night, we want to live. Don’t clip our wings. We’re all setting out of our homes every day looking for our place under the sun(or moon!). We are not happy with free meal tickets. We want to earn our living and worth and standing, as much as you.

I remember when in 1990 I stepped into big bad Delhi from a very sheltered life in various idyllic army cantts, it was not easy. Our seniors gave sound advice such as –Don’t go to Budhha Jayanti Park, don’t go to ridge alone, don’t hitchhike to Chanakya! We all did the DTC, blueline, redline routine every day, reminded repulsively of our vulnerability. We gave it back, slapped, screamed, smashed our handbags on some people’s heads. Many of us were blessed with wonderful male classmates and colleagues, who cared enough to walk us through dark alleys home, who took the longer route to see us safe. Working in the hotel industry, doing night shifts, I cannot remember feeling unsafe working with the Taj group ever at any time of the day. Managing a restaurant, my conscience did not allow me to go home by the 12.40 am van every night when my male colleagues would take the 2.40 one. Many of my male colleagues-yeah, mostly North Indian males- climbed four floors at the end of a tiring day to my little barsati and made sure I had reached my doorstep safely. Great father, a brother who is more of a buddy, a totally non-possessive hubby who just lets me be(not easy as I set out to explore a new facet of my many ambitions every 2 years or so!), a very encouraging and inspiring father-in-law. It is time to thank each one of these North Indian men!

But times are more and more challenging today. I would urge all young women today stepping out to be safe, be cautious, be suspicious if need be. Keep a zero tolerance policy towards any form of sexual harassment. All it takes is conviction and confidence. Equip yourself with the wherewithal to defend yourself. Say what offends you, sensitise your male friends and colleagues to gender issues, speak out when faced with inappropriate behavior at the workplace or otherwise. You set the limits of permissible behavior around you. And most of all be proud of, and feel privileged to be a woman!